I was remembering my family car trips this morning with a mix of relief and revulsion. My family was kind of like a reality tv show: nine people that were all terribly dysfunctional in one way or another forced to interact on a daily basis. We were perfect reality tv show fodder. Not only were all of my siblings hyperactive and ceaselessly argumentative, but we were all very good at tearfully justifying and defending our actions, on or off camera. Our haphazard encounters with one another were so fraught with drama and conflict that they usually culminated with someone getting something thrown at them. Christopher (my now 19 year old brother) and Sam argued constantly, usually while my mother was yelling tearfully at them to stop, while Faith was usually thwacking Ali on the head wih something. Hunter, Hope and I usually tried to not get involved. My father was usually talking on his phone. While my mother berated and urged my siblings to get along, you could quietly hear ABBA in the background, relentlessly cheerful, tirelessly optimistic that we could all get along and resolve our differences. Reality tv gold. Faith would cover someone's face in temporary tattoos (strictly verboten), Hope would smear her body in peanut butter. Hunter would point at every passing restaurant, demanding loudly that we stop and buy him some food. My mom would urge us to speak French. My mother also usually took the opportunity to make us all help her on some craft project that she was utterly and pointlessly consumed with at the time. Stoplights, stop signs, scissors, fast food containers. My father pausing in his conversation to twist around and hiss at us to "please be quiet, right now." As we drove up and down hills and valleys, conflict coalesced and diffused inside of the car, depending on whose naptime it was. I was in the car recently with a handful of my siblings, and we were all so old, so polite to each other, quiet, perfectly ordinary and calm, silently looking out of our respective windows. Sometimes I think: just one more family car trip. I'm like an old, nostalgic reality tv show contestant that keeps showing up on talk shows.
I'm going to trip some DXM now and take it easy because tomorrow is MY 21st BIRTHDAY
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