I am still alive. on tv they are talking about fuel cells, of the people in the wars who have died. died. they just died. it's just a word, this is only a game! the high, twinkling laughter of those that are safe. I hurt.

I'll be in india on monday. in the past month, four of my precious pets have died. freak accidents. freak. my frail heart is firmly pinched between god's fingers. god's game. I am a pearly pawn, arbitrary sacrifices must be made, tears must be shed. blah blah what am I talking aboutwhat does it matterwho cares.

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