2004-02-25 | 2:00 p.m.
okay, I made up a new game and I'm calling it chesskerspoppoly, because it mashes together three beloved, stale games into one crazy game bursting with surprises! It is the plight of man to fixate on what can never be his -- but chesskerspoppoly is amazingly attainable! So come with me on a magical journey to the land of the imagination. the admission price is your enthusiasm and a game of checkers! all aboard!

line up the pieces next to each other, rather than separating them, so that each square on the two rows closest to you has a checkers piece on it. now that you're well-equipped to begin, keep in mind that in chesskerspoppoly you're only allowed to move forward or sideways, never backwards or in those peculiar slanted ways. you CAN jump over people. now, the monopoly part of the game is that when you become 'kinged,' so to speak, you pick any square on the board and you OWN it. so your kinged piece moves in and never leaves. I haven't quite figured out how one can win this game, but it's so fun that you'll never want to, anyway. I guess I can die now knowing that I contributed something great to mankind.

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