in the yellow glow of the sun, rays shattered by the afternoon branches.
I am. I am in kuala lumpur, high on floor eighteen, the city spread before me like scattered chess pieces. that building on the horizon could capture the mosque to my left, and. and. the petronas towers are in sight, slight and slim, the tallest towers in the world. these places are modern and are first world countries in almost every sense of the word. a word on the world. singapore, a strict n stern city-state, was like a whimsical european city, structured, chewing gum is illegal. drug trafficking carries an automatic death sentence. spitting and jaywalking and littering are punished with heavy fines. every time I saw the frowning face of a police officer, I waved ecstatically, but when they were not looking I spit and jaywalked to the content of my hardened heart. but I do not litter! I M G00D PERSON.
soon I will be in thailand, snorkeling around the andaman islands. that is my plan. there has been massive flooding there and so who knows what will occur? I will eat and breathe. asleep, awake. awake then asleep. eat and breathe. this will happen. words do not come. I want to dance, I want to dive into something exciting. something I feel insatiable. sometimes I feel impossible. insignificant sycophant. ultimately this means nothing.
why I am a vegetarian:
I saw king kong and in the middle of it I ran out of the theater, sobbing. violence with the intent to be amusing isn't amusing. were you in a situation that you casually watch, you would be stricken, panic penetrating your entrails. films allow us to separate ourselves from empathy, with sympathy, to view violence as glamorous and alluring. people laughed and I flinched, crushed by commiserated feelings. because it's 'only a movie,' we watch creatures caught in misery and we laugh, because we are outside of it. and that bleeds into our everyday life. we watch pain and entertain. when it happens to others, elation. when it happens to us, we weep. I watched the screen and I could not bear to see so much death, so much destruction, distress. I ran out of the theater and I cried until my sweater was wet.
I put up a christmas tree in my hotel room made of dresses and lights:
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