porn, super porn
2004-07-12 | 7:04 a.m.

I talk and I talk and I talk, and nothing is discovered, nothing is explained. I act as if I have some sort of authority over my life, and occasionally the lives of others, and I make expansive statements about the universe out there, golly, it sure is big, bigger than that pig I pickled for the winter, you see? I'm hardly qualified to talk about it. I'm equally mired, hopelessly subjective. I can't take off this human costume. I am a person, bound to our collective faults, our irrational ire, our blunt and awkward emotions. I suppose this is why I rarely list off the events of my life in a linear fashion, as if it mattered or affected anything. I'm really just a sack of bones n' blood, stumbling around like frankenstein's monster, socially inept, people like ann coulter couldn't exist if humanity was able to objectively examine itself. I can't help but laugh at myself and I think that you should, too. what I do not find amusing is how detrimental I feel to the world's condition. I am a gleeful consumer, a waster, I litter sometimes, I suck!. someday I hope to make the world a better place. you know those movie previews in which the strident voice of film-man shrieks and exclaims, 'they were lost in a land... unknown! all they had was... eachother! in the cruel grips of... survival!' and two hopelessly attractive people are stranded in a remote location, slack-jawed, looking wildly around for a cell-phone tree? yeah, that just about sounds like a dream come true.

I see girls like pack-animals, prowling around, yapping, attacking people, enthusiastically grooming themselves. Like flocks of wild parrots (like, I need to stop mixing my metaphors), they glide along attractively, in search of prey, and regardless of how rudimentary their speech is, the sheer unlikliness of it is... look! it talks!. um, so, I don't really like girls very much, but I really admire Esme, the girl in the photograph below. Shaun and I had dinner with her and her boyfriend in their apartment in amsterdam, and she's an amazing artist. she showed me life-sized plaster legs she had cast, and several rough textures, and her pictures all lined up. We were cooking together in the kitchen, rolling potato balls, when I felt faint. I walked over to the couch, fainted, and fell asleep, and she made dinner all by herself while Shaun and Thomas exclaimed over musical equipment in words mostly consisting of numbers. I intend to live in amsterdam, someday.

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